Emotions Series
Updated: Jul 1
Doubt
Doubt is one of those emotions that sneaks up on you. Most of us are not living in the present moment, meaning that we are either focusing on things that haven't happened yet (future thinking), dwelling in the past, or playing in fantasy land. If we are spending most of our days not being fully present and over thinking, chances are we are filled with doubt.
If you weren't doubtful about life you wouldn't be thinking so much about the future as you would feel confident that whatever is to come will come. If you weren't doubtful you wouldn't be replaying scenarios in your head over and over again keeping you stuck from moving forward. If you weren't doubtful you wouldn't be trying to escape reality by living in fantasy la la land all the time and enjoying the present moment.
We are all guilty of this and some of us more than others. I know I can say this statement with certainty that people who have suffered from a lot of emotional traumas have a lot of doubt. People who grew up in families who were emotionally unavailable, not supportive or critical of everything are filled with a lot of doubt than those who grew up in stable homes. I was filled with doubt about everything in my life. I wasn't sure who I was, I didn't know what I liked because I was people pleasing. I didn't know what I wanted to do for myself because I just wanted to fit in and do whatever seemed cool or do things that made sense but didn't feel right to me. I doubted my abilities to do anything that any time I wasn't doing well I would throw in the towel because the doubt was too much for me to take. I doubt myself still to this day but I don't run from it. I question it. I ask myself over and over is this really true for me. I also can accept when things are out of my control and that I will not know the answers to them and accept that. I try to do things even when I seem like I might fail or don't know what to expect instead of putting it off. I simply just try and live life. If I fail, I fail, if I succeed I succeed. It is pretty simple for me now but it took a lot of work and I'm far from feeling like I have it fully integrated.
The things that we can feel when we are doubtful is this inability to focus. We jump from one thing to the next thing and can't seem to focus on one thing for a long period of time. We are easily distracted and can't keep a cohesive thought for a long period of time. We tend to pleasure seek and distract ourselves from making the decision we know we need to make because we let the doubt keep us imprisoned. Doubt quickly turns into fear and that immobilizes us from believing what could be. Doubt is rooted in our mindset that we simply do not believe. We do not believe in ourselves, we do not believe that something is true, we do not believe that something could be a possibility that we doubt it. Our beliefs truly dictate our actions in life and doubt is one that will stop us dead in our tracks from attempting things we want to do or know we need to do.
Doubt will mix with cognitive dissonance where we can then justify our doubts and keep us further away from what is reality or what we desire. Think about those who doubt other people's ideas and then someone does something. It is super humbling that we limit our ability to believe that anything is possible and rather stay on a feedback loop that things couldn't possibly work out for us that we simply accept playing small or rather thinking small. We miss out on opportunities, stay stuck in jobs we hate, stay in relationships that aren't helping us evolve, ignore our health, deny our passions and so much more because we doubt ourselves and life constantly. It's so sad to see so many people not believe that this world is limitless possibilities if we so choose it. If you think it, you can achieve it. It might just show up differently or come in a different form than you thought but the feelings and belief can create impossible things.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself when you are feeling doubtful about something in your life.
Start with these simple ones then go deeper with the next ones:
Does this fit with the vision of my life?
Does this feel right for me?
Is this authentically me?
Does this align with the things I am going for in my life?
Will this help me on my path?
Deeper questions:
Has this scenario happened to me before? (repeating a pattern?) just observe and see what things might have felt the same way to you before to see if you are simply creating a pattern in your life and not accepting the truth of the matter.
Am I doubting my ability to do something or am I just doubting the outcome? If I am doubting the outcome I am focusing on the wrong thing, as with everything in life we cannot control the outcome but rather set ourselves up to strive for the desired outcome without attachment to it. If I am doubting on my ability to do something I can change the way I feel about myself. Is there anything in life that I do that I feel confident in? If so can I channel that same methodology and feeling into this current endeavor that I am doubting my ability?
Is this all a perceived doubt? Have you ever spoken about this out loud with another person, have you taken any action towards this or are you trapped only in your mind about this thing? Many get stuck here, if you never take a step in the direction then you will never know. Isn't it worse to just keep ruminating over something and never taking action?
Hopefully these simple questions get you to question doubt instead of be consumed in doubt. Questioning things in life allow things to move. Movement allows for changes. Change allows for action and action creates outcomes. When we begin to question ourselves we remove more emotional bias and can rationally deduce the situation at hand. If we remove the attachment to the outcome and rather see if this is truly something that is in alignment with our life and vision or not makes it easier to see if it is in fact something for us to pursue. Doubt shouldn't be viewed as negative but rather your inner being asking you to look closer. If we have doubts about something generally it means we care, if we care about something at least our heart might be in the right place but could be misguided or closed off to believing in yourself.
The next time you feel doubtful, see if you can simply take a moment to pause. Take a deep breath and then ask yourself those few questions about what is really going on. Allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to be completely honest with yourself. The doubt is always connected to a fear or an attachment. Once you can see that, you are more equipped with confronting that fear or attachment head on to find balance in your life to be able to take action towards the situation.
As always, keep shifting your perspectives and finding the delights in everyday moments.
Love and Light,
Kate